Oh no! I have really done it now. Clumsy little me has tripped my way into a whole new problem. I was walking through the rainforest earlier this month because, you know, I am fun like that, when I realised I had gotten lost. I ended up being lost in the rainforest for about a week until I was rescued by some friendly passersby. I was perfectly happy living off the land, but they told me that I would have to come back to civilisation or they would call the police and tell them that I was living on land without permission.

Anyway, I decided to go with them to avoid all that drama. When I returned to civilisation, they forced me to get a full-body inspection and we discovered that I had acquired a nail fungal infection. So annoying! I didn’t notice it at all, but I suppose I should trust what the podiatrist says, since they’re an expert. I’ve become a bit of a foot expert myself. You have to be after traipsing through a rainforest without any shoes on for a week. When I was bored, I just looked at my feet and all the cuts on them. It was an interesting experience.

Anyway, the podiatrist has recommended me a number of foot care products. Cheltenham podiatrists are usually filled with these little products you can buy every time you enter a clinic. These products line the walls as though it were a shop, but you usually aren’t expected to buy any unless the podiatrist instructs you to. My particular podiatrist brought me over to the wall and showed me everything I should buy to help my nail fungus improve as quickly as possible. Since I am to be integrated back into society, it’s important that I get my feet back to normal so I can wear regular shoes to work.

If I’m honest, I really want to go back into the rainforest. I enjoyed it so much that I could build a house there and stay.