Call me crazy, but I think I just invented Melbourne’s newest drawcard. The idea has been brewing in my head for a little bit and now I feel like it’s ready to share with the world. I can hear you clamouring: what is it? Well, I have decided to add to Australia’s collection of big things by creating my very own big thing: The Big Coffee.

I hired a whole company offering comprehensive corporate video production services; Melbourne is full of these, but to suit my big coffee idea, I wanted the biggest and the best service to match it. It may be expensive, but I’ll make it up in no time when my idea opens to the public. Just think about it: a giant cup of coffee sitting on the edges of the CBD. It’s maybe on top of a hotel, so anybody who visits it gets a good view of the rest of the skyline. Inside the cup of coffee, there’s a museum that details the history of coffee, including its rise in Melbourne, as well as a gift shop where you can buy various coffee-related products. But, when you walk up the stairs, you find that the cup of coffee doubles as a hot tub, and you can swim in it while being brought samples of the best coffee in the world by the waiters I hire.

I don’t think I’ll even need any additional post production editing services such as animation and all that jazz, to make it look cool; it’ll do that all on its own. I just have a great feeling about this idea. Like it could really be the next big thing, both literally and figuratively. It’ll be listed in all the biggest newspapers, and it’ll be so popular that the waiting list to even get in will be months long. Once the initial marketing phase is over using the video that the company made for me to help promote on television and the internet, I’ll be able to sit back and relax as customers flock to my Big Coffee.