My life has been thrown into a bit of a spinner. I had all these plans for my life including the rough timeline my life would follow, and it has been completely thrown out the window. I thought that in less than two years’ time, my boyfriend and I would be well on our way to starting our lives together.

I imagined us searching for the most established residential architects in the Brighton area to build our dream home. I imagined us happy, in love and excited to start the next chapter of our lives. Now, if we’re lucky, in two years we’ll just be moving in together into a share house. I’m going to be twenty-seven years old then and in my opinion, that’s way too old just to be finding out whether or not this is the man I’m going to marry.

If we’re not destined for each other I’d rather know now. That way I can give myself time to heal, be alone for a while and then find a new person. I’d rather give myself that time because if that were to happen at say, twenty-seven or twenty-eight, I would have a lot less time to heal before having to look for someone new. 

I guess I really am at a crossroads. Do I wait for my boyfriend to mature and then when he does, start the life that I want us to start now? Or do I cut him loose, become the independent woman that I know I am and build my own house, with the help of architects operating near Melbourne that I’ve chosen myself? It’s a hard decision. I’m probably going to go with the latter option at this stage, but I’m hoping (read: praying) that something changes so that I can choose the former.

Life is full of ups and downs and while this is certainly a down, I hope to be back up as soon as possible.